from:The Onion

Christian groups want Armageddon taught alongside global warming

Total parody from the Onion News Network ... there's nothing like a little Armageddon humor to lighten your mood.

Discuss this post

I am a christian scientist. My research has brought me to see a potential flaw in policy due to misinformation about global warming that has led my fellow americans, amongst much of the rest of the world to ignore a global killer effect that we are taking hand in. We are altering earth's momentum with space flight. God has promised us life everlasting. I believe the stories of god to be true. The planet has proven itself capable of bouncing back from civilization after civilization and continuing to provide the homeostasis necessary to support life. Altering the natural homeostasis of a planet is the only global killer. The only activity that is altering the earth's natural and god given perfect balance is the alteration of the earth's path around the sun. The only effect we have on that is when we alter the earth's total mass, in turn altering the earth's momentum, in turn altering the earth's relativity to the sun. We are heavy enough to not float into the sun, and light enough to not freeze to death. Planet earth is my home, and the home of many generations to come, inspite of the falsified fear of global warming due to pollution. Pollution has been since the beginning of time. Why are we all the sudden afraid of it? Space flight is relatively new as far as history goes. Extremely new for that matter. It's ultimate goal seems to be to transport humans to our next home. We have no where else to go yet. We cant afford the minimal though they may seem alterations of earth's momentum. For hell is promised to be fiery, and moving even one mile closer to the sun may prove to be hell on earth. INVESTIGATE. Please. God gave us life, and i'll be damned if we are the generation that condemns the earth to hell.

    Reply#1 - Tue Dec 28, 2010 4:10 PM EST
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